She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. ’ ‘Lucilla,’ gasped Hilary, his cheeks reddening with wrath. The more her thoughts dwelt upon the subject, the more convinced she was that she could not go to any one for help; she would have to solve the riddle by her own efforts, by some future experience. One night, she drew close to him in bed, trying to warm herself by embracing his back. He was normal now, and the coat was only a coat. Her foster father, Larry, was the hard working son-of-a-bitch type with a disdain for suits. He’ll do. Shall I sew it on for you?" "If you wish. Find the thing you want to do most intensely, make sure that’s it, and do it with all your might. Here, Jem, take the gentleman's horse to the stable—see him dressed and fed directly.
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